What it is…

“They lived and laughed and loved and left.” — Finnegans Wake

I feel like I have been going to a lot of funerals lately.  That isn’t true, really – it is a testament to how incredibly lucky I have been throughout my life.  The Joyce quote above was put on a sign at my grandmother’s funeral this past May.  Today, with the funeral of my wife’s grandfather, I was reminded of it again.

What a cathartic experience.  Looking around at my wife’s – my –  loving family, I was left only with the thought and prayer “I hope I am this lucky.”

It has been a long time since I have gone two days, two emotional days, without thinking about music, school, teaching.  I came back and immediately sat down to listen to something, something to study – I think it was Nono? – and was hit in the face with “it”: what the hell is this?  I mean, I know what it is – technically, artistically, philosophically.  And I think I know what the “point” was/is (if you think there was a point, or if you care there was a point, or whatever).  But…

…just not enough time.  It doesn’t feel like enough time for Nono, today.  Have to write, have to teach.  So much to do before departure.